Self-sabotage. It ‘s subtle. So subtle that you may not even recognize it.
Here are some things that I have done in the last few weeks. Tell me if these sound familiar.
Declared that I needed to schedule more time for just me…..never did because it seemed easier on my family for me to be at home. Felt resentful.
Ambitiously planned to go to the gym every weekday…..only made it twice. Felt bad.
Decided I needed a food reset and was going to do a 5 day cleanse…..lasted 2 days then ate a bagel. Felt gross.
Here’s where the sabotage comes in. It’s not in the eating of the bagel or the skipping of the gym. It’s in the first part, the planning part. The sabotage comes from not putting a whole lotta thought into the plans that I have sorta kinda set out in the first place.
I want more time to myself. Did I look at a calendar, pick a time, make a plan and stick to it? Nope. Did I feel better because I was doing the important work of supervising homework and doing dishes instead? Nope. I felt grumpy and resentful. Sabotage.
I planned to go the gym 5 days in a row. Did I have a plan for specific things I was going to do at the gym working toward a specific goal or even know why 5 days in a row was important to me? Nope. I went twice but instead of feeling good about those workouts, I felt like they were not good enough and *I* was not good enough. Sabotage.
Randomly committed to a 5 day cleanse without putting much thought into it. No WHY other than “I’ve been eating too much crap lately”. No real focus and not enough planning. When I craved that bagel after two days, I went for it because I was never really committed. Sabotage.
Here’s the thing. I could tell myself that I got it wrong and that next time I need to try harder. I could tell myself that I don’t have enough willpower or that something is wrong with me. But THAT thought process only furthers the sabotage! Because I don’t need to try harder. I need to be smarter. I need to have a plan and know why I have that plan.
Know what you want. Define it specifically. Instead of a general “I want more time for myself”, make it “I want to have coffee with a friend once a week.”
Know why you want it. Have you ever asked yoursef why is it important to you to exercise or to eat healthier food? Understand your why and hold on to that.
Make a realistic plan and stick to it. Wanting something is well and good, but know that if you want something you can have it. You have to figure out the steps between here and there, and then take them.
Be flexible. Regroup as needed and keep going! Sometimes the plan you set out just isn’t realistic and it needs to be adjusted. This doesn’t mean failure. Failure only happens if you quit. Don’t be so stuck on one strategy that you lose sight of your goal when it doesn’t work out. When you run into a barrier, pause, consider it, rewrite your plan and keep going.