Memoirs of a Diaper Changer

Can I just tell you how long I have been changing diapers?

11 years and 7 months.

If I even start to attempt to fathom the number of diapers that entails, I have to sit down and sing softly to myself so I don’t start to cry.

The actual act of potty training Kid #1 was relatively easy. What led up to it was about a year and a half of going back and forth between wondering if I “should” be potty training and feeling guilty that I wasn’t. And I kinda didn’t care. At that time, my mom friends and I would meet up for nights out where we would spend several hours, over a nice dinner, talking about poop without batting an eye. That was good times. I would go home to my sleeping toddler in his huge overnight diaper and second guess myself. He was 3 and a half when he finally figured it out. When he peed in the potty for the first time, he literally went “oh!” and never had an accident.

Kid #2 was (is) slightly more stubborn. While I was more relaxed about the process, my son was….um, not. I sometimes feel guilty because I don’t remember as many of his milestones as his older brother’s. I clearly remember one evening after dinner, trying for the gazillionth time to get my almost 5 year old to sit on the potty to poop. I was so frustrated I had to walk away. I stood in the middle of my kitchen and prayed for poop. At that moment I heard “Mommy, I did it!”

Cue the angelic music.

There was an all too brief window between when Kid #2 stopped needing an overnight pull-up and Kid #3 being born.

I can honestly say, I can barely remember a time when the only butt I had to deal with wiping was my own. But I’m almost there….I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Kid #3 is now 3 and is half interested in using the potty. I can almost hear the choirs singing. Not quite there, but almost.

I love all of your babies. Even those of you who I don’t know. I love all babies by default. But if I am holding one and it starts smelling stinky, I will happily hand him back to you cause I am done.

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